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Do you ever have days were you don't want to do anything but stare up at the ceiling? Where it takes sooo much effort to get yourself off the couch? When you feel like you have an invisible leech sucking away all your energy? Well, that was me today.

I have been managing to get things done, but its been an uphill trudge. Tomorrow I drop my artwork off at the art show. To be honest, I'm actually more nervous about getting to the show location than whether or not I make it in. Going to new places often times triggers the anxiety. I know that I'll be fine; I've gotten a lot better at dealing with those sorts of feeling when they come. (This week has already had its fair share of inner battles.) Although it's never an easy or pleasant experience, it is encouraging to see your self improving in an area that was once so overwhelming. But I digress.

New art shall be coming, I promise. I've had a recent epiphany about some long term art goals and dreams that I'm looking forward to sharing with you, so be sure to check back in a few days. Until then, have a good rest of your week!

sincerely,
me

The Gerbils!

I figured it was high time I posted some pictures of our little rodent children! In fact, I probably should have done this way sooner. Oh well. Better late than never, right? 

Anyway, meet

Eva

Scheherazade

Toph

and Fang.

Aren't they the cutest! ^_^ We've had them for over a year now and still enjoy watching their antics.

Some day we hope to get a couple of cats and a dog, but for now, the gerbils are doing a good job of filling our pet quota. Have a great weekend!

sincerely,

me

Watercolor portrait: Mother and Child

This is the other piece I plan on submitting to the art show next week. Its another one of my watercolor collage hybrids. There are a few things I'd change about it if I could, but over all, I ok with it. All I need to do now is get it framed and wired, then I'm good to go.

sincerely,
me

On Being Brave

I've never considered myself brave. I always looked up to the plucky, spitfire heroines of books and movies who could stand against anything. They were the girls I wished I was but could never really be. But recently, I realized something about bravery; it only exists in the presence of fear. If there isn't any fear involved in the situation, then there isn't anything to overcome. You can't be brave until you've first been afraid.

True bravery isn't bounding carelessly forward into the jaws of danger and certain death. It's not letting the things that scare your socks off stop you from moving forward. That kind of courage doesn't look as nice and shiny as the warrior princess or super hero variety, but it's legit bravery none the less.

sincerely,
me

Illustrations: Jon and Me

One of my drawing goals is to develop an "cartoon" version of Jon and me. Here's my (very rough) progress thus far.

I actually figured out how I wanted to render Jon pretty quickly. I'm still working on getting him drawn consistently, but I like how his features are represented. I had more trouble getting myself figured out, as you can see below.

I finally stopped failing quite as badly as I usual today. I think I've finally gotten most of my features figured out except for my eyes. I can't tell if I want the pupils to be circular or elliptical. But still, progress is being made!!

And on this page, I was playing around with integrating anime style expressions. (Anime expressions are totally the best!! ^_^) I'd say I've achieved moderate success on that front but I have a lot of work a head of me before I get into a good grove.

That's it for today. I'm off to watch the newest episode of The Legend of Korra on the interwebs and eat rice and sweet potatoes for dinner.

sincerely,

me

The collage that has yet to be named.

Here's the collage I was working on a few days ago. I'm pretty happy with how it turned out. It was a lot of fun to do something with the back of the canvas rather than the front; I think I might try it again at some point. 

Haven't come up with a title yet. I was thinking something like "Little things", but that might sound too sappy. I'll think about it. There's always "Untitled" to fall back on I guess.

sincerely,
me

In progress.......

Just a super quick post to update you on two art pieces I've been working on. I plan on submitting them to a local art show in a few weeks. 

I shall be posting pictures of the finished works soon!

sincerely,

me

A long blog post about a lot of things

One of the many things I've been trying to sort out recently is my blogging practices. I've been reading up on blogging tips and lessons. All that advice has help me identify (or re-identify) some problems I'm coming across.

The first problem is that I'm interested in too many things. This means I end up trying to make my blog about all those things. I love fashion blogs and craft blogs, but after playing around with those to subjects, I've discovered I'm not really that "type" of blogger. This has been hard for me because I want to do everything, which as we all know isn't possible.

What I've finally come to peace with is that I don't need to force my blog to be about everything. I can talk about the stuff I like, but I don't have to make those things the focus of my blog. That doesn't mean I can't talk about/feature some of those topics, but that stuff isn't why I'm blogging. The real reason I'm blogging is to share my art and some of my life with the world.

This brings me to my next and bigger problem with blogging; I'm really introverted. Like, really introverted. When I first started posting stuff on the Internet, I was hoping it would be easier to be myself online than it was in the real world. Unfortunately, it seems that being myself is something I'm not naturally good at, no matter where I am. (Odd thought there, it's not natural to be yourself.)

Anyway, part of that comes from not wanting to turn this blog into a file of complaints. There are plenty of boring or annoying details about my life that the world can do without. However, some of it also comes from an inherent fear of being transparent about myself. I'm pretty bad at both reaching out to others and letting people see my life. I still think blogging can help me overcome those inner fears, but for that to happen, I'll need to make a more concerted effort about being a little more open.

On the topic of being open, I also decided I wanted to share another aspect of my life I've been working through lately. For the past few months, I've been struggling with anxiety and panic attacks. I'm not sure how "serious" it is, but it did progress to the point that I started seeing a councilor about a month ago. Since then, it's gotten a lot better. I'm learning how to manage/fight the fear and panic when it comes as well as figure out how it got there in the first place. Hopefully, with enough practice, the anxiety will one day stop being a part of my thought patterns. I held off mentioning it till now because I figured it fit the "personal detail" category and, to be honest, I was a little embarrassed by it. At this point though, it will be simpler if I just talked about how things are going rather than try and dance awkwardly around the issue.

Well, that's all I have to say for the moment. Not too bad for someone with misgivings about being vulnerable. I'm not entirely sure where my blogging will go from here, although I can probably guarantee it's going to be messy at times. The trick will be figuring out how to keep going even when things are messy, just like with the rest of life.

sincerely,

me

I'm not dead, in case anyone was wondering...

Hello readers of my blog, be you real or imaginary,

Just a quick note to apologize for my interweb silence and let you know that I'm still alive. I've decide to take a break from blogging for a bit so I can get a few projects taken care of. I'll be back soon!

sincerely,
me